{"product_id":"i-have-to-be-sarcastic-or-ill-die-sweatshirt","title":"I Have To Be Sarcastic Or I'll Die - Sweatshirt","description":"Soft, worn-in comfort meets deadpan humor. This heavyweight garment-dyed tee feels like an old favorite from the first wear — a little faded, a little lived-in — with a crisp, hand-drawn frog illustration and the wry line: “I have to be sarcastic or I’ll die.” It sits relaxed on the body, drapes naturally thanks to its tubular knit, and keeps its shape through regular wear because of double-needle stitching. Choose a muted color to enhance the vintage vibe. Wear it when you want your sarcasm to do the talking — at coffee shops, casual hangouts, or lazy weekends when comfort and attitude matter equally.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% ring-spun US cotton — soft, pre-shrunk comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Garment-dyed for that lived-in, vintage look and soft hand\u003cbr\u003e- Heavyweight (6.1 oz) relaxed fit with tubular knit (no side seams)\u003cbr\u003e- Durable double-needle stitching and sewn-in label\u003cbr\u003e- Sizes S–4XL available; 58 color options\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Ash","offer_id":44535286759467,"sku":"27691255918003547736","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light Blue","offer_id":44535286792235,"sku":"24205110944206988860","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light Pink","offer_id":44535286825003,"sku":"72160425791348896570","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sand","offer_id":44535286857771,"sku":"28902669292503859528","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":44535286890539,"sku":"69670368070968093353","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":44535286923307,"sku":"19955604918221690151","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Ash","offer_id":44535286956075,"sku":"13176906229700819116","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Blue","offer_id":44535286988843,"sku":"21417359875062107626","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Pink","offer_id":44535287021611,"sku":"71962560627586358907","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sand","offer_id":44535287054379,"sku":"13985545164029707394","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":44535287087147,"sku":"29646519044114612268","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":44535287119915,"sku":"32535866150524928683","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Ash","offer_id":44535287152683,"sku":"29468544183238674174","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Blue","offer_id":44535287185451,"sku":"51212557681958018695","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Pink","offer_id":44535287218219,"sku":"17430332894993643593","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sand","offer_id":44535287250987,"sku":"25265018508244208343","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":44535287283755,"sku":"71209633689661970178","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":44535287316523,"sku":"16833911513620748854","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Ash","offer_id":44535287349291,"sku":"25868995117020779807","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":44535287382059,"sku":"24877567649406471871","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":44535287414827,"sku":"31969694200285249357","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sand","offer_id":44535287447595,"sku":"24281488759508176790","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":44535287480363,"sku":"17574532251631793509","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":44535287513131,"sku":"22610666828692065658","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Ash","offer_id":44535287545899,"sku":"28662249116547613369","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":44535287578667,"sku":"39913865665903477709","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":44535287611435,"sku":"12084906457472605398","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sand","offer_id":44535287644203,"sku":"60603321940030565461","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":44535287676971,"sku":"18429138029784607207","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":44535287709739,"sku":"14905769470647999034","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Ash","offer_id":44535287742507,"sku":"84210964218489533196","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":44535287775275,"sku":"40638135683739027637","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":44535287808043,"sku":"15115374043418712730","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sand","offer_id":44535287840811,"sku":"13060057134445576380","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":44535287873579,"sku":"16511394203882610736","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":44535287906347,"sku":"70050241183377215845","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0685\/7126\/7115\/files\/3668642944774699969_2048.jpg?v=1785447034","url":"https:\/\/outspokenoutfitters.net\/products\/i-have-to-be-sarcastic-or-ill-die-sweatshirt","provider":"Outspoken Outfitters","version":"1.0","type":"link"}